After Holiday Assholes!

Okay... so I know I said I was back a few weeks ago, then never actually posted another blog... this is based solely on the fact that I LOVE to procrastinate and that nothing all that exciting happens in my life besides dealing with shitty customers at my shitty ass job! So with that being said... I have decided to blog about the morons that I deal with on a daily basis!

So as everyone knows... I work at the bookstore.... the bookstore full of complete and utter idiots!... One would assume people shopping at a bookstore would be of a higher intellect then those shopping at say.. the mall..... BUT NO!... Lets just stop for a moment and discuss signs... and how to read them.... When a sign says..."20% off Selected Items" that does not include the ENTIRE STORE.... also when a sign says... "Buy 2 DVD's and get 1 FREE" that DOES in fact include all DVD's and NOT fucking CD's!!!! and my personal favorite.... a sign that says "ENTER HERE" (with a big arrow) and one at the other end that says "PLEASE WAIT HERE." Now it doesn't take a genius to put two and two together and enter where it says enter, and wait where it says wait.... but apparently for those shopping at the bookstore the concept of a LINE is soooooooo new that they have yet to learn how to form one! and apparently that makes ME the jerk for asking them to go stand with the other morons who also couldn't read a fucking sign!!! (just because YOU couldn't read the sign... doesn't mean you get to cut the entire line!!!) GRRRRR.... okay MOVING ON...

As the holiday season is coming to a close that means everyone is tired out of being nice for an entire fucking month, and it is now time for the asshole side of them to finally peek its evil head out of hiding... I present to you... THE AFTER HOLIDAY ASSHOLES!!! Okay so as a kid everyone is taught manners... or at least thats what I thought children were taught! Apparently a month of being overly nice to others creates monsters for the rest of the year... that being January through November.... Now During the month of December MOST customers are polite and say "thank you," "Hello," "No thank's," "Yes Please," "I am sorry," and closings such as "have a "nice day' 'Merry Christmas' 'Happy Holiday' or 'Happy Chrismahanzakwanzika."

That ALL comes to an end January 1st.... and when I say "have a nice day," I get NOTHING in response... or I say "how are you?" and I get a phone number yelled in my face to look up their member card. (Note: its not a "Oh! I have your member card but I forgot to bring it" its simply "(845) 485- blah blah blah blah....) which is when I politely, in as sarcastic a way as I can, reply with.... "Oh? I'm sorry does that mean you have our member card? I'm just going to need you to wait a minute while I ring up ALL your shit, punch in about 5 codes to get me to the lookup screen and then enter your FUCKING PHONE NUMBER YOU FUCKING IDIOT!!" (okay okay... well I don't quite say it like that... but something along those lines) I just don't understand these after holiday assholes... if your life is that fucking miserable go to K-Mart or something, cuz I don't want to deal with you anymore!!

and... Im back!

I know, I know... its been about 7 months since I last blogged and ohhhh what a 7 months it has been.... I will get to that later.... anywho.... I decided to start blogging again in honor of Noelle who wins our "Fallen Kickball Hero Award" for last night when she took out her entire right ankle on the kickball (sending her to the emergency room), just to let the other team have a chance at winning the season! That's right... Team Underpants ended up in 4th place which is actually right about where we belong!!! We don't need some first place trophy to prove to the other players that we Kick ASS, all we need is to show our team spirit at the bar, with our cardinal red shirts on and our happy little faces... :-) But poor Noelle, even with a broken tibia and a crap load of morphine in her system she was still able to keep us all laughing! Just showing that we truly are the team with the closest bond and the best-est friends!! (AND...if you haven't noticed I have had a glass of wine this evening, which is more alcohol then I have had total in the last few months combined... so pardon my spelling, grammatical errors, maybe foul language, and total lack of correct punctuation)

So to catch people up on the last few months of my life.... My mother (we shall call her "fucking bitch") Decided to put our house on the market, move down to Florida with "douchebag," and live happily ever after! Which leaves me with..... NO HOME.....4 DOGS.... and not much of an income... (which is totally my problem I'll admit that, but something I thought I had some more time to deal with)... anyways... I ended up moving in with Tucker, with the pups, one of which has attacked me two times since I have been here (sending ME to the emergency room on both occasions), and his two roomates (one of which just recently moved out!) Yes! I am summing up the last 7 months in as few words as possible!

As you can see.... things have NOT been easy, which has left very little time to me to blog, but now that winter is approaching I am going to do my best to keep up with my blogging, which now that its "that time of the year," will NOT consist of happy fun filled stories of Christmas cheer and sugar plums... but will consist of horrific stories of retail during the holiday, and my first holiday season without my family and/or house... which may bring about a few bouts of depression.... but as we all know... Flick will pull through!!!

Snow Day....

Well its been over a month since I last posted a blog.... I know!!! everyone is really upset, all two of you who read these.... anyways... This week started off pretty well, the temperature was finally rising, I washed my car for the first time in about 4 months.... I was able to wear a t-shirt outside comfortably... and then.... today hit..... It has officially been snowing since about 10 this morning, and it just wont stop!!!! There is about a foot of snow out there and its still falling!!.. I am NOT looking forward to breakout out my snow pants and shovel AND winter jacket AGAIN!.... I mean don't get me wrong, I LOVE snow, and I LOVE winter... But shoveling just isn't as fun as it used to be before all the back problems... Before I had 4 cars to juggle in the driveway just to be able to shovel.... Before Tucker left me for sunny Las Vegas....(speaking of which, I seriously miss him) and last but not least... Before my mom had a douchebag of a fiance stuck in the house with me!!

Well, needless to say.... I am counting down the hours until they leave for their next vacation, which is 9 long hours away, provided their flight isn't canceled due to the weather.... and if it is... I am seriously going to consider the quickest possible way to call the air force and have them specially airlifted to wherever the hell it is that they are going.... (with a ONE WAY ticket to never return home again) OOOOOHHHHH the possibilities!!!

The voice of hell......

So today is monday.... aka: my day of rest..... Well while I was sitting on the computer being a complete bum talking to the Dutchess and Fire Jay the telephone rang..... after reading on the caller ID that it was some 800 number I decided not to answer..... (once again, proving just how lazy I am) ANYWAYS.... the phone rang a few times then all of a sudden I hear it! a MANS voice on my answering machine.... Oh here we go!

Well not only was there a mans voice on my machine, but the message included made me want to SHOOT myself for having any association with my telephone number period.....

The following is word for word what you will hear if you call my house and I dont answer:

"Hey you have reached the Bernhard residence, AINT nobody home to take your call except the dogs, and they are too lazy to answer the phone, so leave a message and maybe we'll call ya back, and maybe we wont"

(Gee I wonder if he was a comedian or something in a previous life? or a mobster, cuz they are the only people I know that use the word "aint" and think its okay...)

Anyways...... first of all... thats NOT my last name, which is why our previous message left out a last name all together, and second of all... GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE!!! How am I supposed to explain that message to my family, my friends, strangers?..... come on now!......

Well luckily they leave on Thursday for their 5th vacation of the year (and yes, I know... Its still January) which will be the day I change the message back to what it used to be..... so until then.... CALL NOTHING BUT MY CELL PHONE NUMBER!!!!!

Frustrated incorporated.....

Have you ever felt like a complete outcast before?.. yeah not fun, especially when its in your own home..... When you wake up and no one acknowledges your exsistence, no one says good morning, no one asks how your day went, it kinda starts to get to ya after a while.... Especially when this total not caring is coming from your own MOTHER!!!! I don't know really how much more faking a smile around them I can do.... its becoming trying.... and when I actually look forward to going to work, you know something isnt right.... so off to work I go!

Guitar Hero = Addiction......

Well I finally broke down and bought the new guitar hero II game for my ps2 after months of saying I wouldn't give in.... but after playing it for an entire weekend up in Albany with Tucker I was showing signs of withdrawl after being home only a few short days.... SO....with my latest addiction fulfilled, I feel like a whole new me!!!!...

But, as with everything in life... with every up, comes a few downs.... For instance: now every song I hear on the radio I evaluate as having guitar hero potential..... I pick up my real guitar thinking im going to be amazing at it now that I figured out how to move both hands independently of one another, then realize... I still SUCK!...... My typing abilities have gone down the pooper due to my hands being totally used to pushing 5 color coded buttons and not an entire alphabet worth of letters that are all over the place.... when I look down off the television screen, everything in the room pulses in this weird wavelike fashion... (very strange... I know.....) and last but not least..... I actually know now who sings the song "Psychobilly Freakout"... wtf? lol

So for all you out there reading this.... If you have a PS2... I advise you to go out, spend the $80 bucks and call me when you've beaten the game on easy.... and I will challenge you to a guitar hero duel!! Oh it's soooooo ON!!!!!!!

I have a bone to pick....

I would just like to take a brief minute to discuss this past weekend..... As you all know it is January.... and I live in New York.... and this past saturday the temperature here was 70degrees.... can we say global warming??? Well since the weather was sooo beautiful, Tucker and I spent the earlier part of Saturday hiking over at Lake Minnewaska, which was just awesome, and beautiful, and WINDY, which was still okay because even WITH the windchill the temperature was still over 60 degrees!! lol anyways.... though this past weekend was just perfect, I am still a little bitter about our total lack of winter...You see.... I'm a skiier.... and well.... I am having ski-withdrawl as we speak....... I havent even seen snow yet this year, except for a flurry or two, which in the end, was probably just pollution or something..... totally lame... Anyways, I just want mother nature to acknowledge the fact that she fucked up this year, and I am not exactly happy about it..... So as soon as possible if you wouldnt mind hitting us up with a blizzard or two that would be GREAT!
Thanks a bunch! buh bye!

Happy New Year......

So its been a while since I last posted a blog, and realized that a whole ton of stuff has happened since my last post... Things such as Christmas, New Years, my mothers ENGAGEMENT, my grandmothers ENGAGEMENT, my sister coming home, my neighbors flooding their home, more bird crappings on my car, more work being done to my house, more uncertainty than anything.... so all in all... Things have been rather interesting to say the least...

Guess we will start off with Christmas..... well..... I had a tough time dealing with the fact that this is going to be my last christmas spent in my house, which will be going on the market sooner than expected.... I also had a difficult time dealing with the fact that for the most part, I spent christmas alone, because my mothers new FIANCE (ill get to that one in a min) is more important then her two kids..... And YES! I did say "Fiance".....thats right! the MARRIED man who my mom has been seeing for the last 3months proposed to her saturday before christmas, and felt the need to come to my job to break the news to me.... (JERKS!) Its sad that now, I actually look forward to going to work based on the fact that its the only way I get a break from all the craziness thats been going on around here..... mainly being, my mother completely losing her mind!! I know, I should be happy for them, and YES! I am glad that my mother is "finally" (as quoted by her) happy.... because apparently my sister and I have been such a burden on her life which just made her MISERABLE..... (note to self: USE BIRTH CONTROL!!! as to avoid having a "miserable" life..Thanks Mom!!.....) Moving on.....

The New Year couldnt have started off any better.... Spending an entire day with Coach and her hubby and the Dutchess sitting around watching movies and taking naps because we were sooo exhausted from the night before!... Which by the way was spent at Mahoneys.... (yeah yeah... totally sick of that place, but it had its perks on New Years Eve.... that being Nuts in a Blender) Tucker was away for the weekend, so my midnight kiss was with the Dutchess... which wasnt bad, but coulda used a bit more tongue action! lol... just kidding..

So heres to YOU! 2007!!! If you wouldnt mind ending a bit sooner that would be lovely, because I have a feeling this coming year isnt going to be one of the better ones..... but ya never know... perhaps this is the kick I've been needing.... I just wish I had a bit more support on the parental end of the spectrum.... but I dont see that happening anytime soon, since as of this morning all my mom cared about was whether or not I have been going to the gym lately..... (which I went to last night by the way) Nothing like seeing someone after a week and a half and the first thing out of their mouth is "have ya been to the gym lately?"..... yeah ask me how I handled that one next time ya see me!! (forewarning..... NOT WELL!!) Well as to not bore you all with my blog this evening..... I will leave it at that....

for now.....

When it rains...... it POURS!!!!.......

As though falling off my horse saturday (which resulted in a lot of bruises, the inability to move my neck, and a minor concussion) wasnt enough, Sunday came and created a whole new disaster story to tell.... and here we go....

So Sunday morning I wake up, barely able to move any part of my body.... when my mother decided that it would be a great day to go pick out a christmas tree and bring it home.... (mind you, im totally useless because of the pain im in.....) So we go pick up our christmas tree, bring it home, I do my best to help get our endless amounts of Christmas decorations out of hiding, and decide that hanging christmas lights on my house would be the least hazardous project for me to take on since I have a very low hanging roof and its really easy to hook the lights on the nails from last year....Oh boy! was I wrong!!

As usual, one of the strands of lights didnt work so I decided to make my best attempt to fix it.... unable to get the bulb off the string, I decide to use my mouth to losen the little bastard..... completely forgetting the lights were still PLUGGED IN!!!!....... so yeah... needless to say, after being totally electrocuted I threw out the string of lights and carried on with a burning copper taste still in my mouth..... can we say MORON????!!! Oh..... thats not all.....

So we bring the tree in the house, and realize its too tall for my living room and instead of taking the heavy tree (which I couldnt lift) outside, I decide to just saw off about 3 inches of the trunk right there in my living room....... Long story short.... I forgot I moved the marble coffee table to the corner behind where I was sawing, and when I finally managed to get through the trunk I threw my entire body back to crash on the floor from being in soo much pain and having just sawed off the end of the tree, and well...... slammed my head into the marble table, cracking it open and creating a bloddy mess EVERYWHERE!!! (and quite a nice goose egg!!!)

You know how some people are just accident prone????? yeah... well..... I AM ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE!!!!!......

( but on the plus side..... I did see quite a few stars this weekend!!!)

Then I hit dirt.......

So falls off horses hurt a hell of a lot more now then they ever used to...... or maybe its cuz I landed on a pole and took out a standard on the way??.... well whatever the case may be, I HURT a lot... It hurts to swallow cuz of the whiplash in the front of my neck.... my arms cannot be raised above my chest level, it hurts to lift anything, my back hurts in more places than I knew possible, and my butt..... oh lets not even go there... there are more shades of purple down there, than I knew existed!!!..... Oh and my slight concussion isnt helping anything out either, I freaked out the Dutchess and Coach..... and even Tucker seemed a bit worried when I spoke of the fact that I dont remember about a 2 hour chunk of my morning...... so ummmmm yeah..... FUN DAY!!... not to mention the 8hour shift I just worked... IN PAIN.......

Perhaps moving into a padded room like the one below to avoid hurting myself isnt a half bad idea...... ????

As my hatred deepens.....

A diamond ring, a diamond necklace, a diamond bracelet, and two pair of gold and diamond earrings...OH! and dinner at the Culinary.. all for ONE Birthday!! (All from someone who is STILL married to his WIFE!!!!!) Can we say DOUCHEBAG????... Oh, and yeah.... way to make anything I buy look like total garbage!!! and now.... I HATE YOU EVEN MORE!!!!!

Literally, a SHITTY day......

So I couldn't resist blogging about my shitty day...... and when I say shitty..... I mean SHITTY!!!! Well Monday after I was leaving work I noticed that my car was covered in bird shit.... Now I wasn't sure if the shit came from my house? or the parking lot at work?....... Well needless to say, I came home and washed all 24 bird shits off my car that night...... My car remained clean for a whole 24 hours! until I went to work today... (Wednesday) and came out to just my HOOD and WINDSHIELD coverd in 37 poops!!!!!!!! I know what you are all thinking..... NO FREAKIN WAY!!!!! But I am soooo serious, and made my mother go look at it just so I had some proof!.....

Anyways..... as though the 37 bird turds on my windshield and hood wasnt enough, there were 12 freakin more on my sunroof!!!!!!!! WHAT THE F*&K??????? How is that even possible????? 49 bird shits on my car in a span of 8hours!!!! Now I'm not sure exactly how this all happens, because when I park at work, I don't park under a tree, nore do I park in the middle of a freakin bird sanctuary...... so where the hell is it all coming from???? And how the hell is it possible for a group of birds to make that much SHIT????? And dude...... can we just discuss the array of colors I had?.... I had purple shit, blue shit, green shit, yellow shit, a few little black shits, and like 15 white blob shits...... GROSS!!!!!

So now that you all have a visual of my clown colored Jeep.... Which is clown colored no more, due to it taking its SECOND bath in the last 3 days!!! I will leave you all with that..... and PS- If there are any birds out there reading this......... F*CKing LAY OFF THE LAXATIVES!!!!!!

Swinging good time!......

So today was pretty much the SHITTIEST day of my life...... not only was it black Friday... and I work in retail.... but I came home to the biggest hell of my life..... my family.... Good news though, throughout all the hell I have been dealing with lately, my sister and I have become somewhat close (which is insane since we have HATED each other our entire lives) Anyways, the closeness between my sister and I has been brought on by the fact that my mother has gone completely insane, and tonight was the proof that I was NOT overreacting!!!

So after having a complete and utter breakdown, completely losing all self control, and crying like I was some little kid who fell off the playground swing, I had to get out of the house..... so what did I do???? No..... Not go out drinking.... oh no...... I went playing on a sex swing instead!!!!!..... yeah! I did say SEX SWING!!..... I went out with pixy and the dutchess to dutchesses gay love interests house (Bear) and took notice (due to everyones staring at the ceiling) of two pretty heavy duty hooks on the ceiling...... So dirty mind Flick states that those hooks would be perfect for a sex swing!!! Well...... guess what???? That is EXACTLY what they were for...... soooooooo to make a long story short.... the sex swing was brought out.... along with a fairly large dildo and some crazy videos were taken......... (NO! I was not naked... thank God!!) But it was hilarious.... so much in fact that I ended up falling out the bottom with my feet stuck in the foot straps...... yeah..... CLASSY!!! I know........lol

The conclusion of the night was the four of us all heading over to Birminghams house to visit with Noelle..... and with us upstairs feeling like total outcasts for not being "kewl" enough to chill with the brainiacs downstairs playing Taboo!! ...... lol..... Oh well..... instead, we all bonded by poking fun at Bear for leaning more towards the "not so straight" side of the heterosexual line....fun times!!!.

Anyways..... so the night ended up much better than it began.... I actually smiled!! ;-) and now have a wonderful blog to post about it all.....

The holidays SUCK.......

Okay..... so just because Barnes and Noble offers FREE gift wrap all year long.... DOESN'T mean its okay for you to come in on a BUSY Friday night with two days worth of purchases to have US giftwrap them for YOU!!! Fucking JERKS!!!!! I swear some people are only alive cuz its illegal to shoot them!!!! (but since I've never really been one for following the rules or doing shit thats legal.....Shooting them isn't completely out of the question now is it?? )

Tis the F*CKING season!!!!

The playa and his Whore....

One day there was this Playa.... and there was this whore..... Oh and then there was Flick..... anyways..... One day flick catches the playa and his whore sucking face in the parking lot..... So flick confronts the playa about his whorish ways... and the playa plays it off like it was nothing..... Well flick isnt dumb.. no no... not at all..... Flick remembers that she has all the players passwords to get on his myspace page.... So flick and the dutchess decide to check things out a little..... and OH! what a shocker!!! The Playa is a fucking LIAR and well the whore..... is even more of a whore than we originally thought (which pretty much makes her a walking STD at this point)

Well to make a long story short..... The Dutchess and Flick had a wonderful afternoon full of vomiting all over themselves due to the emails they read between the playa and the whore... emails consisting of conversations about pussies and throbing cocks being inside one another and so on..... and OH! not to be overlooked.... the conversation the whore had with her mother because she heard all the happenings from the night before because the playa is soooooo fucking classy and did it with a 20 year old in her fucking parents house!!! (btw. the playa is 30) And apparently the Whore couldnt keep it down due to all the FAKING she had to pull off with the player due to his TINI-WEENIE!!! (I will not go into details about how Flick knows this.... but lets just leave it at that..... there HAD to be faking going on there!! A LOT of it!!!)

Well the moral of this story is....... DONT LIE TO FLICK!!! I am not stupid, and DO NOT underestimate my stalking abilites.... if I need to find something out, I WILL!!!! And when I call her a whore! Dont go all grumpy on my ass cuz you know damn well that I AM RIGHT!!!!

THE END ;-)

Aguh-bye.........

Oh the kickball season has come to an end..... and after a long night of kickball fun, flipcup fun, drinking fun, and discussions of wardrobe fun, this season has come to an end..... The famous tucker now knows that tucking in of your shirt is NOT OKAY!!! (I really hope youre reading this... this is my ode to you TUCKER!! ;-) ) Anderson school hopefully knows that they are officially HATED even more now....(though we are not sore losers... We just all agree that the winners (though it is STILL us) deserve more credit then we have been getting.... ) I have learned that my catching skills will only be utilized when a ball actually makes it to the outfield, which is apparently no so "kewl" anymore...... I learned that boys still cannot listen, or maybe they chose not to?... When I say "DONT BUNT!!!"....Dude... DON'T FUCKING BUNT DAMNIT!!!! and when the rest of the team is yelling...... "kick it as hard as you can!!!" by golly.... you better be kicking that ball like you were kicking that bitch who broke your damn heart!!! And when kickball comes to an end on its final night.... You better be making the most of it.... ;-)

I met soooo many great people playing this game of kickball fun.... the World Adult Kickball Association was like one on the best ideas EVER!!! I mean where the hell else can you kick balls all night, drink like its going out of style, and hang out with the best bunch of people in the world??.... thats right... you guessed it..... KICKBALL!!!! Oh.... you will be missed....... Until next time..... may the force be with you all!!! see everyone at trivia...... (doesnt quite have the same ring....... sorry.......)

Femi-nazi moment......

Guy's are all assholes...... or at least all of the ones I have currently been dealing with..... They are misinformed about EVERYTHING in life, and still feel the need to open their F&*King mouths and spill their verbal diarrhea in the form of half ass sentences onto you, as though you gave a shit!! Well guess what???....... I DONT!!

I dont care that some girl at the bar didn't give you her phone number, I don't care that you haven't gotten laid in god knows how long, and I dont care that you feel lonely.... (JOIN THE F*&KING CLUB!!!!) Don't whine to be about being "confused" Don't give me your sob story about how your past was fucked up and thats just made things difficult!!!!! Cuz Honey! If I even began to tell you about my fucking past, you would shoot yourself before the story was over!!!!!

Now I don't mean to come off as a total bitch, but the fact of the matter is.... I AM!!! People don't make it through life because they live each day feeling sorry for themselves, or because they dwell on the past.... People make it through life cuz they fucking LIVE it for all that its worth!!!..... They don't sit there and try for things that arent possible (ie. the hot girl at the bar when you are Quasi-fucking-moto with cross eyes!!) I'm sorry if this is harsh, but it needs to get the hell outta my system, and people need to start being REALISTIC here!!!.......

Now Quasimoto isnt the only one on my shit list at the moment...... No.... there are others.... most of whome have a penis in their pants..... I have the malnurished-little-twirp who I work with who thinks that just because he is parading around his new little girlfriend with the 6year old kid, I am somehow jealous??.... HAHA.... Boy.. you have a lot to learn about the word "jealousy"..... It's not possible for me to be jealous of that.... or jealous of anything having to do with YOU because I DUMPED YOU!!!!!!! Let's not forget that!!!

Moving on.... there is also my old "trainer" I call him that because he took me under his wing and trained me JKD for a while, taught me a lot about fighting, a lot about self discipline, and a lot about life, then turned into the weakest person I have even known!!! You dissapoint me.... and I want you to know that......

Now I could go on for hours about this... about how weak the male species has become.. but quite frankly... it's not worth anymore of my time..... From now on... If you have a penis... Try not to think with it.... actually.... if it helps you become more of what your not, start using it.... I don't want to hear anymore about your problems, your false information, or thoughts as to why you are gods gift to women!!... (cuz sweetie, if your single, and even I wouldnt fuck you, you are NOT god's gift to women!!.... sorry......)

I will leave you all there...... with a to be continued... Because I have a feeling.... this isn't over.....

Oh Halloween.....and the things you make me do!

Okay... so last night was yet another fun filled evening with the ladies and some others!! We went to a Halloween party thrown by Bear at Rollermagic!! yeah yeah... I know what your thinking.... LAME!!! But no!! You are wrong.... Last night was off the hook yo! lol (guess some of the Hyde Park Ghetto rubbed off on me....) Anywho... so about an hour before I head out the door, it dawns on me that I have quite possibly the BEST costume EVER to wear.... Probably the sluttiest thing you have ever seen!! I was only wearing a THONG! (oh! and about a 200lb fat suit!!!) ((SEE PICTURE BELOW))

Yea! CHECK OUT THOSE TITIES!!! just sayin..... anyways, I didnt win sexiest costume, and neither did the Dutchess who was looking mighty HOT, or Noelle who pulled off a full body, form fitting, black pleather matrix style ensemble which I wouldn't have even made an attempt to stuff an arm into, let alone my entire body!! (Kudos go to you girl! You looked Great!!) Well in the end. the fat kid suit was removed due to it being the fucking HOTTEST costume ever made, and it being..... well....... not so sexy.......lol But all in all... yet another fabulous time was had by all, and despite gaining an extra hour of sleep last night, I still managed to only get about 2hours all morning, after going to bed around 6:30 this morning as the sun was coming up.... Go me!!....... Happy Halloween!!! :-)

Dear, The Beer God's.....

Okay..... so I just need to destress really quick, and I figured a blog would be the quickest and easiest way to do it!... so here I go.....

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay...... I feel a little tini tiny bit better now...... but not really..... Guys can you all please cross your fingers and hope to whatever it is that you hope to that I get this new job!!.... Cuz work is KILLING me, and I am NOT looking forward to still being there for another Holiday season...... I just may poke out my left eye if I'm still there in a few weeks...... so yeah..... Pray to the beer gods that all goes well.... PLEASE!!!!!!!! for the sake of us all....... DO IT!!!!

Thank you! ;-/

As promised.....

Okay..... well here it is..... the much anticipated blog about last nights happenings.....

Well the night started off as any other would.... I worked till midnight, then met up with the Dutchess, Bear, Noelle, and the Pixy at the Hyde Park Brewery.... Needless to say... It was LAME.... so after drinking my FREE beer (thanks dude at the bar!), which took me about an hour to get we decided to head over to the Eveready Diner.... also pretty lame on any normal night, BUT this night involved me and my dirty mind, and before we knew it we were discussing Veiny Horse Cock (which I give all credit to the dutchess herself for) Anyways, we somehow even got the waiter involved in our conversation, that was until he turned beat red, handed us the check and walked away....lol... ( I tend to have that effect on guys!!)

Okay, so my friends were having a birthday/halloween costume party last night as well... Which I totally wanted to go to earlier, but wouldn't miss hanging out with Pixy before she leaves us :-(.... well after the diner, I couldn't wait to get down there.. (I even came prepared with a costume and all!!) So I suggested to everyone that they come down with me, and both the Dutchess and Bear decided to tag along..... BEST DECISION THEY EVER MADE!!! Let me tell you.... So we get there and there are drunken bastards EVERYWHERE!! and everyone is in full Halloween getup.... so after walking around for a few minutes trying to decipher who is who under all the makeup and wigs I find people I know and let the drinking begin!! :-)

Well to make a long story short.... I left there covered in marker, layers upon layers of it all over my chest.... I had a penis on my left boob, and a heart on my right, and a smiley face in the middle.... along with about 5 singnatures of people that were there.... I know what your thinking.... "flick you're crazy!!" but no... the Dutchess was covered in just as much marker as I was if not more!! and so was Bear!!! And let me tell you.... It was NOT in appropriate places!!! I am still a little shocked to be quite honest!! lol... anyways.... so my friend Michelle STILL has my signature on her butt and I'm sure everyone else I wrote on is having just as tough of a time getting the marker off as I am!! :-)

Well the night came to an end around 5:30 this morning, with me and the BINJAAA talking like two crazy gay drunkards (even though I was completely sober at this point).... and people sticking to the beer/alcohol covered floor......... it was all around... a FANTABULOUS evening!!! And I got lots and lots of pictures to prove it!!! ;-)